5 stupid historical facts
Historical facts are great, fascinating, and sometimes frankly stupid. Some real events are too stupid even for Hollywood, a place where the motto "Nothing can be too stupid, especially history!"
5. The CIA used sex dolls to fool the KGB.
Cold War film trailers are intense cat-and-mouse games with high-tech devices, sometimes unexpected and sometimes funny. However, in real life, the CIA chose a simpler option in order to deceive Soviet agents: inflatable sex dolls.
In the 70s, CIA operatives almost could not move around Moscow incognito, because the KGB knew all their cars and tracked their movements. But the operatives had to meet with their agents and carry out the tasks assigned to them, and for this they needed to leave out of surveillance. And then it dawned on them! After the agents jumped out of the car for a short time off the “tail”, they were replaced with inflatable dolls.This was before the advent of the Internet, so agents had to buy dolls in sex shops in person - according to one agent, he was so embarrassed that he asked his secretary to do it instead. For the sake of justice, I must say that the phrase “Excuse me, madam, but this is secret!” Has never been used in the entire history of purchases of sex dolls.
“But wait,” you say, “wouldn't a sex doll be noticeable in the car before the agent slipped?” Looks like you didn’t watch the movie “Airplane”! The agents simply made inflatable devices from the airbags that could be easily hidden in the car until it was required that the fully inflated doll jump out like a nestling chick. TsIRushniki really called them JIBs - jack in boxes ("the hell out of the box"). They giggled every time they talked about it. We do not have a source confirming the last statement, but we are sure that this is true.
4. Defeating fighters is an absolute nightmare.
Imagine such a plot of a film about the Second World War: a bomber, its engines are on fire, its accompaniment is destroyed. The crew members know that they need to complete their task, and are well aware that they will not return home. Now imagine all the same, but in shit.This was the reality of long-range bombers during World War II. They often had to fly for extremely long distances, and the airborne equipment was still ... rudimentary, at best.
A British Lancaster bomber had one portable chemical toilet. The defecate was sitting on the "pot" and doing his business in front of everyone, and the toilet, it is worth noting, was constantly overflowing. This in itself is bad enough, but when the plane got into a zone of turbulence, the laws of physics combined with a vengeful toilet to throw everything back with all possible force. This somewhat spoils the drama of the final monologue of the brave young shooter Wilson, especially when you see a piece of toilet paper in the middle plan hanging on the pilot's ear.
Defeating in modern aircraft is not much easier. At least two F-16s crashed when their pilots tried to go to the toilet. Pilots have to withstand heavy air defense weapons in well-wetted pants, and there are only two ways to avoid this. Pilots need to either wear diapers, or connect the "gofroshlang."Imagine that Luke Skywalker boldly jumps into his X-Wing, checks all the engines, hears Obi-Wan's voice, and then puts his cock in his pipe. Just imagine, damn it!
3. Samurai wore huge stupid air bubbles.
When you imagine a samurai, several things enter your head: armor, cold arms, a tuft of hair. You will probably not imagine how any dork will ride a horse with a giant air bubble that is tied to his back, like a baby that mom does not want to lose in the crowd.
Strips of cloth or silk were sewn together in the form of a bag, which was sometimes tied onto a wooden or woven frame. They were worn by messengers and high-ranking samurai to protect against arrows. While riding a horse, the fabric inflated due to the oncoming air flow, as a result, a giant bubble formed behind the rider’s back, making it look like a ninja turtle.
2. The ancient Greeks and Romans constantly bandaged their members, appearing in public
Olympians of ancient Greece can be considered one of the true wonders of the ancient world, and it is possible that they embodied all the best enduring advantages of sports ...until you look below the belt.
What you are trying to see there is a consequence of the custom of ancient Greek athletes to bandage the foreskin with a small cord called “kinodesma”. The name literally translates as “dog reason”, and this time we are not going to delve into the history of the origin of this name.
To answer your obvious question, “Lord, what is this for?”, We will clarify that the Greeks believed that chastity improves the athlete’s performance, and film dressing helps to avoid injuries during training. Kinodesma was also worn in order to be sure that a naked Greek athlete would not demonstrate proudly the naked head of his member in public places, which was considered very shameful. Probably, for this it was possible to find simpler solutions than bandaging the foreskin, but it was not we who invented it, and it was not for us to decide.
The Romans went even further and began to use clamps. Roman gladiators despised such elegant little ribbons as kinodesma, and instead they were used iron rings, metal clasps, or even simple “English” pins.Imagine a scene in the movie "Gladiator" in which the warriors arrive in Rome and stare at the Colosseum with trepidation, but then Oliver Reed rushes up and pierces a member of Russell Crowe. This is history.
1. Agnes Sorel conceived in 15th-century France fashion to walk with one bare chest
Agnes Sorel entered history as the first official mistress of the French king. Obviously, there were many of them before her, but she was the first who openly made a career on this. She flashed like a hurricane, forcing suffering contemporaries to declare her "the most beautiful woman in the world" and "the worst example for modest and honest women" - the two most pleasant compliments that a 15th century writer could give. Probably the last compliment was related to Agnes' habit of walking with boobs falling out of a dress. Ironically, the most famous of her image is the image of Agnes Sorel in the form of the Virgin Mary.
It was not related to breastfeeding - rather, it reflected her personal view of clothes, which the shocked chronicler described as “an open mantle in front, in the cut of which you can see her breast”. This style was widely imitated, as a result, the bishop condemned the new fashion for “front armholes through which you can see the nipples and breasts of women.”
Based on Agnes’s approach to fashion, one unscrupulous historian declared her “the first empty case in history,” but this was not the case. Karl VII was absolutely fascinated by Agnes - to the extent that the future pope remarked: "Whether at the table, in the bed, or in the council room, she should always be with him." She used this influence to inspire the invincible king to fight the English invaders, and she may have died for her country. In 2005, a French study showed that she died at the age of 28 from acute mercury poisoning. Of course, this does not mean that she was deliberately poisoned - knowing the 15th century, she used drugs with mercury whenever they had a headache, but it is interesting in the light of modern rumors that Agnes poisoned the son of the king to get rid its influence.
In any case, Agnes will always be remembered because of two things: hatred of the English and hard rock boobs. Surprisingly, she never appeared on any of the French money.