At what age is it better to marry and marry?
As the well-known expression of Socrates says: “We must marry anyway. If you are lucky - you will be happy, no - you will become a philosopher ... ”. This expression is thousands of years old, and no one has yet given exact advice on what age it would be better to go to the altar.
After the collapse of the USSR, the unmarried and unmarried ceased to marry and marry immediately after school. The reason is simple, because during the times of developed socialism, only a married couple or a single mother could put in a queue for a separate apartment.
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It was necessary to wait for a long time, and by the time the passport was received, the already grown up children gave the family a chance to become secondarily. This time for “expansion” or, more precisely, “for better living conditions”.
If the young men and women were delayed with marriage, then they risked getting thinner houses of normal footage polished and gray-haired.
After the collapse of the mighty Soviet Union, they began to marry at a later age, after graduating from the university, after reaching a certain social and professional status.
Now it’s normal to "live together before the registrar, get to know each other better." Previously, such a joint life encountered a mute condemnation of already married neighbors and rejection by the local police officer. After all, it turned out that someone "lives without a residence permit."
The question of how much happier are those who have waited for maturity in comparison with the young and naive, sometimes rises on television shows about marriage. The answers are completely different, opinions too.
It is necessary to separately address and consider this particular problem, the problem of mutual understanding.
Problems of early marriage
The one who got married early, 20 years old, immediately after serving in the army or after the third year, will tell about the mass of problems that immediately arise before a young family. The most difficult problem is finance and housing.
Housing problem is directly related to the material. There would be enough money, renting an apartment would ease tensions with square meters.
The next most important problem is professional growth. It is at a young age that you need to find a job that will bring material stability and moral satisfaction.To do this, you need to change several places of work, perhaps even move to a more developed region, city.
But the partner does not always agree with this. He is bound by friendship with his neighbors and classmates. And parents by the side - this is also a solid anchor. This is the reason for quarrels, quarrels.
The intimate side of relationships is very important. For young people living with their parents, it sometimes becomes even the trigger of a divorce - the inability to retire at a convenient time for them.
An ideal marriage at an early age is one in which parents are responsible for the material and housing well-being of a young family. Grandmother gives an apartment, parents give money. Relatives attach to work and nurse nephews, grandchildren. Such a family will be virtually insured against divorce.
Times have changed. There were opportunities to compare our life with foreign models, look at their family, try to imitate it.
What was discovered? Nobody “over the hill” is trying to tie the bonds of Hymen up to 30 years. There is no need for a girl to “be in time to be in time for 25, otherwise you will remain an old maid”. Now the question asked to the girl: “Will you work after the wedding?”, - the majority will answer in the affirmative.
It turns out that just before the wedding it is necessary to move as high as possible along the career steps, to get a good job. This will allow, after marriage and the birth of children, not to fall out of the "clip" and return, to regain financial independence from the husband.
Speaking about the benefits of a late marriage, it is worth more specifically to highlight all the positive aspects of it.
Positive aspects of late marriage
People in the age of "over 30" already, as a rule, have experience of relations with a partner. This gives an idea of who they would like to see next to them in the ideal (or acceptable) version. There is already the concept of the term “harmony of family relations”.
For harmony, an adult couple has a material basis. Solved problems with the apartment, with work. There are often transport, a country house or a plot. All this makes it possible not to quarrel with each other because of the disorder of life, and enjoy the opportunity to relax in the family circle.
Young sexual impulses are gone, replaced by a harmonious intimate life, well-established rhythm. The experience gained finally reveals all the secrets of enjoying each other.
Children in such a family are not the result of negligence, but the natural fruit of mutual tenderness, an event that is expected.Raising a child in a family of respectable people is deprived of clarifying the “who needs to clean up, whom to prepare” relationship. Responsibility is discussed in advance and is divided equally. There are options, of course, when the mother decides to devote time to the child at least until kindergarten.
There are family quarrels in such a family, but the heat of passion does not make you beat the dishes, leave home to your parents or friends. Compromises are possible in any case, both spouses understand this.
Where we see pluses, there are for sure and disadvantages! Let's say about them.
On the cons of late marriage
Not always the desire to have children coincides with the capabilities of the parents. At the age of 20-25, the possibility of conceiving and carrying out a child is much higher than at the age after the age of 30. Various diseases caused by hard work are manifested and disturbed.
The couple has ideas about their “territory of comfort”. By the age of 30, their rituals, their permanent preferences, are already emerging. Adjusting them to the rhythm of another person’s life is not easy. The discomfort begins at the door of the bathroom. It is during a collision that most of the morning quarrels occur in the bathroom.
Considering the pros and cons, we find that the first more! Difficulties arise not so much in relations between spouses, but in problems with children. Sometimes it's hard to conceive and give birth to your own.
But medicine comes to the rescue, the achievements of which allow you to confidently say - you can have children at any age.
The happiness is that a loved one is there. The age of happiness is not a hindrance, you can be completely sure of it!